Discovery Bay 6 : 2 FWD

Sandy Bay Pitch 2, Pokfulam — 3rd September 2016 at 5:30 pm kick-off

So the new season has begun. The summer had many scandalous moments for the DBFC crew. Your match reporter was bitten by a lobster in China, Jordon told Tom that their relationship was ‘over’, Ben Roberts and Matt Orr did what Ben Roberts and Matt Orr do, and injured themselves on a night out. The list goes on.

Before getting into the match commentary, we will start with d!ck of the day (DOD) first – your match reporter and stellar CB had a minor meltdown/psychotic breakdown in the second half. But does this make him the confirmed DOD? Only time will tell.

DBFC had a good number of players down on paper for this game. Manager Gaz had his starting line-up worked-out and everything was looking rosy, until your match reporter received a phone call from Syd an hour before KO – ‘Dave, I just woke up and my footy boots are at HKFC – I need to go there first, I will just make kick off.’ Manager Gaz quickly reshuffled his planned starting line-up. Now, why was Syd late? – it turns out that Sahil came round to Syd’s flat in Kennedy Town on Friday night for a sleepover, a few bottles of wine and a Tom Cruise marathon. Syd staying up late with another man, and member of our squad, watching classics such as Top Gun, Jerry McGuire and Vanilla Sky… not a valid excuse for sleeping in and being late for football.

Once we all arrived at Sandy Bay, Matt Z took the warm up and manager Gaz announced the team:

DBFC Team: Martin (GK), Simon (LB), David (CB), Matt Hoare (CB), Bert Roberts (RB), Jordon (LM), Pascal (CM), Dom (CM),  Scott H (RM),  Tom (#10),  Matt Z (CF). Subs: Syd, Jarrod and Daniel.

After manager Gaz introduced the new DBFC Captain, the ubiquitous Tom Halder, our little garden gnome managed to lose the toss in his very first duty as Captain.

DBFC began as the far stronger team, controlling the play and the defence generally dealing well with FWD’s long ball tactics, with Ben Robert’s keeping FWD’s fast winger in his pocket. DBFC passed the ball around quite well and Jordan was having a lot of joy on the left wing. The DBFC first goal came when the ball broke to Matt Z on the edge of the box – he held off two defenders as he played a short pass to Tom Halder, who proceeded curl a shot it into the roof of the net —– an excellent goal.

By this time Syd had arrived, changed and warmed-up. After 15 minutes of play Scott H came off, Pascal moved to RM, Matt H moved to CM with Dom and Syd came on at CB with David.

DBFC still continued to be on top, with one or two chances coming to FWD from balls over the top to their fast attackers but new keeper Martin was fast off his line to collect or block. The DBFC second goal soon arrived when Jordan got the ball on the left wing and made his way to the edge of the FWD box before smashing the ball across the FWD keeper, just inside the far post.

Soon after we should have gone 3-0 up when Matt Z put in a great corner that David met at 2 yards out to head wide of the near post  – in fairness to him, Matt Z hit the corner so fast that David was only able to just get his shoulder to the ball. Not to matter though! We soon had the ball in the net – Dom, from inside the DBFC half, saw the FWD goalkeeper off his line and struck the ball superbly over him and into the net. A world class goal!

The half time team-talk emphasized the need to keep up the work-rate shown in a great first half and not to get carried away looking for goals and losing our shape and structure. Manager Gaz called for a tight 10-15 minutes at the start of the second half and that substitutions would be made as we settled into the half.

The second half started very well. Within ten minutes we were 4-0 up. Ben Roberts, showing pace and attacking intent, never before seen from him, overlapped Pascal on the right, took the ball and put in an excellent cross that fell at Matt Z’s feet. The conclusion was inevitable – and the ball went into the back of the net.

Four soon became five. Who needs to pass the ball when you are Jordon Brown? Jordan picked up the ball in his own half and skinned 6 of their players before breaking into the box with a lovely lollipop and firing under the keeper. This did not impress the FWD Centre Mid though, who so eloquently shouted at his team “why you not tackle him? You no tackle. Very simple, he go left, he go right, you take the ball” – yes, if only it were that simple.

Daniel came on for Dom to make his DBFC debut, which began very brightly with an assist for Jordan. Again, it was a cross from the right, this time a low drive by Daniel that FWD were unable to clear and the ball broke to Jordon who secured his hat-trick with a low finish. DBFC were now 6-0 up and cruising.

After this point, a bit of complacency set in to DBFC’s game with hunting for more goals and their shape fell open for the last 20 minutes. This and tiredness allowed FWD to attack a bit more, although DBFC defence still managed to snuffle these FWD attacks. The game was getting stretched and some poor off-side decisions by the referee were allowing FWD to counter a lot more effectively. It was one of these bad decisions and counter attacks that led to a FWD goal. A shot from the edge of the DBFC box was excellently parried by Martin – but unfortunately the FWD striker was first to follow up and bang it into the net, to make it 6-1.

David was tired and asked politely to come off and Jarrod came on at CB to replace him.

A number more chances for DBFC to score weren’t converted and the collected ball sent out quickly by the FWD keeper, while the DBFC mid-field was still high, for FWD to counter-attack. Again from one of these counter-attacks, with 5 minutes left to play, FWD’s CB, who had pushed forward to receive the ball with his back to the DBFC goal at the edge of the 18 yard box, sweetly turned two DBFC defenders and placed his shot into the top corner. A super goal to make it 6 – 2 and that was how it stayed.  

MOM: Jordan’s hat-trick and wonder goal and Dom’s long ranger are very strong contenders. However, it goes to Ben Roberts for an excellent display at RB.

DOD: I believe it should be Syd for turning up late and giving the ball away ten millions times or Pascal for falling asleep on the ferry. However the winner by popular demand is David, for just asking nicely to be substituted. What’s wrong with that? Democracy gone wrong in my opinion.

Reported by David.