Discovery Bay FC vs Team Shotgun

1st October 2016
Score: 4 - 0

Match Report

DBFC 4 – 0 Team Shotgun.

At Kowloon Tsai Park Pitch 2 with a 18:10 KO on 1st October 2016

Squad: Yanou, Ben, Riggers, Morse, Simon, Dave M, Dom, Jordon, Dan K, Dan Lye (new signing), Yoon, Warren, Matt L, Tom, Jarrod.

Scorers: Tom x2, Jordon x1 and DanL x1

Kowloon Tsai’s brillo pad was the venue for this week’s Legal League outing for DBFC (the later KO time meaning playing under the very poor lighting) against Team Shotgun, who usually present a tough test with quick wingers and a few Yau Yee League regulars. Nevertheless, the DB boys arrived full of confidence after an undefeated start to the season. The only concern on players’ minds during the warm up was that no one had heard from Scotty Holmes for a couple of hours. The worry built as all held their breath waiting for him to check-in. Tears were about to be shed when, thankfully just before kick-off, DB’s absent flying winger checked-in on FB from the peak with his weekend guests. Word on the street was he was only checking out the view.

With this weight off the teams collective shoulders, Gazza brought us in for his pre-match speech. The gaffer asked the boys to remain patient on a difficult pitch and reminded us that Shotgun had some tricky, speedy wingers and played on the break. He also reminded the defence to remain vigilant, we couldn’t rely on Rolly’s lightning pace to get us out of jail at the back this week. The starting line-up was to be a 4-4-2: Yanou (keeper), Riggers and Morse (CB), Simon (LB), Ben (RB), JB (LM), DanL (RM), Dom and DaveM (CM), Tom (10) (Captain) and DanK (CF). Then the boys all posed for a team (kitted-out) picture so that Gazza’s wife could be convinced he does go to play football and doesn’t just spend every Saturday afternoon getting pissed at the Pier Bar. 

The game started off slowly, with both teams struggling to come to terms with the bouncy pitch and the dim lighting. The quality of play wasn’t helped by the ref’s choice of using a dark coloured football that became invisible in certain parts of the field. A ball change brought about some better play from DBFC, who managed to get a couple of early corners. Tom’s deliveries were decent but Riggers judging of the ball flight for a header was not. Gazza’s tactical nouse was once again on show after 20 minutes; swapping the positions of DanK from (CF) with DanL at (RM) to get a bigger physical presence up top, in front of Tom. Not long after DBFC managed to open the scoring with some good play down the left resulted in Jordan being played through the Shotgun back line by a delightful ball by Dom, to run into the left side of the box and fire in a low shot across the goal to the keeper’s left and just inside the far post. Another great finish by JB to give him his eighth goal of the season; No wonder the HK Football Club’s first team manager is trying to poach DB’s diamond. With DBFC now 1-0 up the football was buzzing and they continued to control the game, with Tom in particular finding pockets of space and feeding DB’s wingers. The second goal came from some patient build up from DB, who worked the ball forward to DanL who laid it off to DB’s skipper for him to rip an absolute worldIE from about 30 yard out from the Shotgun goal. The ball swerved and dipped leaving the Shotgun keeper lost and Motionless. 

DBFC were now in full swing; both backs (Simon and Ben) nullifying any Shotgun counter down the wings and both Morse and Riggers playing the ball out from CB with confidence. The centre midfield pair of Dom and DaveM were working tirelessly by covering all areas to stifle Shotgun and when in possession were playing some delightful passing football. JB was a constant threat down the left and looked like scoring every time he got the ball. Dom played the ball towards the left that DanL flicked on with his head for JB to run at the Shotgun goal from the left once again and fire in a bullet shot to the near post. It hit the underside of the bar and came down on the Shotgun keeper’s shoulder and then the goal line and somehow, in desperate defence, Shotgun cleared it. JB got free down the left again and put in a great cross that  found its way to Ben Roberts at the back stick but the increasingly confident Ben managed to hilariously (but not surprisingly) completely shank his half volley out for a throw in. The third goal came from some excellent play by DanK at RM, who managed to bamboozle 4 Shotgun players before charitably passing the ball back to the Shotgun keeper (a shot). However, the keeper was fooled by Dan K’s tactic and ended parrying the ball to fall in front of Tom, who coolly finished with his right foot. The whistle for half-time came shortly after and DBFC entered the break satisfied with their good first half performance.

Half time’s talk was focused on carrying on with the same game plan and intensity to finish off Shotgun quickly. Tom questioned the score being called at 3-0 as he believed it to be 2-0; he had managed to forget the score even though he had scored and the fact that he’d scored the third goal and his second of the game. Tom was quick to point out that only the skipper was allowed to switch off momentarily. DanK came off to give Yoon a run down the right wing. Gazza advised the remaining three subs to get ready to come on as the second half settled.

The second half started in the same vein as the first, with DB carving out several good chances. JB and Dan L were guilty of some slack finishing, which contributed to the former’s increasingly prickly mood. As has been the case every week, DBFC struggled to maintain their full grip on the game and allowed Shotgun to play their game and get a couple of half chances. One free kick was brilliantly saved by Yanou, who adjusted his feet brilliantly to claw out a deflected goal bound effort. Top drawer save. DBFC injected some fresh legs into the game with Dom coming off after 10 minutes with a knock to his ankle and replaced by Warren. After 20 minutes Dave M came off (tiring) to be replaced by Matt L and this swap was soon followed by the skipper coming off (with a tight thigh) to be replaced by Jarrod. Gazza had controversially (at least to Tom and JB) changed to using a defensive midfielder instead of moving JB into number 10 to replace Tom. Ben “James Milner” Roberts proved his versatility and indispensability (it means you’re good Ben) to DB by finishing the game at centre back when Riggers had to go off with 15 minutes left because of a sore Achilles tendon. Gazza put Yoon at RB and brought Dan K back on at RM. Dan K made an instant impact as he got down the right wing to fire in a deep cross that got to Dan L at the far side of the Shotgun 18 yard box. He managed to take the ball into the box by out-muscling a couple of Shotgun defenders and finishing well into the far corner the Shotgun net. It was a fine goal that killed of the game as the game petered out without much fuss. The skipper noted that JB moaned his way through the last 10 minutes, because the service to him (like the effects of Matt Orr’s chat-up on a girl’s passion)  dried up, and noted “I’m *#$@ing quitting DB” was his contribution to the post match debrief. This lasted all of two minutes when Gazza explained he messed-up his intentions because he’d lost JB in the dark on the far side of the pitch (the old gaffer’s eye sight is going). Jarrod was supposed to go LM and JB to 10 and that would have been the right call given that Shotgun were throwing everything forward. You’re never too old to learn. Notwithstanding the little 2 minute tiff it was agreed that DB completed another dominant performance against one of the stronger teams in the league. And so it was back to the Pier Bar (for a disappointingly small turn-out — 7) where Scotty Holmes showed up with his guests. 

MOM – Dave M was excellent in the middle of the park, complementing Dom nicely and providing the sort of steel which has been missing since Matt Hoare betrayed us. Yanou made one superb save at a critical time and Ben Roberts continued his rags to riches journey with another solid performance. This week’s MOM would’ve gone to Riggers, who marshalled the back line superbly alongside Morse. It was a commanding performance from DB’s new recruit. However, Riggers was a notable absentee from the Pier Bar and the skipper couldn’t bring myself to make this prestigious award to a “no-shower”. So MOM this week goes to the skipper who believes he was awesome!

DOD- The skipper gets a mention for forgetting the score at half time when he had scored the third goal 5 minutes earlier. Matt L set the record for quickest yellow card in the history of the Legal League, coming on as sub in the second half and getting booked almost immediately. JB’s tantrum at the end of the match has to be mentioned, although he made up for it with a strong performance in the Pier Bar and beyond after the game. However, a clear winner emerged over the course of the weekend with a performance that the skipper considers extremely dickish, to the extent he is going to suggest DBFC management create a I find myself creating a WOW (Wanker of the Weekend) award. Whether he was slamming “traditional” jelly syringes in Stormies, or “getting his brunch on” in Kowloon, Scotty Holmes kept all of his FB friends constantly informed over the weekend. He was a one man checking-in machine, clearly revelling in his role as Hong Kong tour guide to his guests. Congrats Scotty.

Report by Captain Tom with editing by Gazza


12. Martin Rigby
32. Dan LyeGoalAssist
13. Dom PolisanoAssist
5. Simon Yuen
21. Dan KeenanAssist
16. David Moore
1. Yanoo Van Raad
23. Thomas HalderGoalGoal
32. Jordan BrownGoal
20. Benjamin Roberts
40. David Morson


22. Warren Laker
Matt Loughran
Lee Yoon